Fashions of Toronto

Fashions of Toronto

For anyone who has ever stepped foot inside the Lawrence Square Mall, the images below will bid a most familiar welcome. Surprisingly however, the same can be said about a complete newbie. Conclusion, if any? We can safely (and honestly) admit that if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. And that would be all about life’s little lessons for now. Switching back to the actual topic of today’s post, here I am wandering through the differently named versions of the same type of store, with the same type of merchandise on display. The only thing that will slightly differ (for the sake of variation) is the price list: from outrageous to quite affordable, every once in a blue moon a truly tempting single digit popping up from the anxious crowd. What about the display? you will ask. Well, as much as I hate to be a party pooper, I will let the images speak for themselves for a while:

Had enough already? There’s plenty more to come… Read more

Worst First-Time Homebuyer Mistakes

Worst First-Time Homebuyer Mistakes

Finally the day has come to buy your first home. Excited and a little scared? A thousand emotions in a span of minutes! Read this before you start the transition from Renter to Homeowner to avoid costly mistakes.

Not Knowing your Affordability
What the Bank says you can afford and what you know you can afford or are comfortable with paying are not necessarily the same. If you don’t already have a budget, make a list of all your monthly expenses (excluding rent), including vehicle costs( lease or owned), student loan payments, credit card payments, groceries and entertainment and retirement savings. Don’t forget annual expenses like insurance premiums or vacations. Subtract this total from your take-home pay and you’ll know how much you can spend on your new home each month.

If you end up looking at homes that are outside your price range, you’ll end up lusting after something you can’t afford, which can put you in the dangerous position of trying to stretch beyond your means financially or cause you to feel unsatisfied with what you actually can afford. You may even learn that you can’t afford the type or size of home that you desire and that you need to work on reducing your monthly expenses and/or increasing your income before you even start looking.

Skipping Pre approval
What you think you can afford and what the bank is willing to lend you may not match up, especially if you have poor credit or unstable income, so make sure to get pre approved for a loan before placing an offer on a home. If you don’t, you’re setting yourself up for a situation where you might not get the home of your dreams other than the fact that you would be wasting the seller’s time, the seller’s agent’s time, and your agent’s time if you sign and then discover later that the bank won’t lend you what you need, or that it’s only willing to give you a mortgage that you find unacceptable.

Be aware that even if you have been pre-approved for a mortgage, your loan can fall through at the last minute if you do something to alter your credit score, like finance a car purchase. If you cause the deal to fall through, you may lose the initial deposit you had put down while making the offer on the house.

Failing to Look for Additional Expenses
Once you’re a Homeowner, you’ll have additional expenses on top of your monthly payment. Unlike when you were renting, you’ll be paying property taxes, home insurance, and, if it’s a condo you are buying, you’ll be paying a monthly condo fee.

Stuck on What You HAVE to have
Making a wish list is a great place to start when looking for a home, but don’t be inflexible. First-time homebuyers often have to compromise because their funds are limited. You may have to live on a busier street than you hoped, make some repairs to the home, or deal with a smaller backyard. Of course, you can always choose to continue renting until you can afford everything on your list – you’ll just have to decide how important it is for you to become a homeowner now rather than in a couple of years.

Not Seeing the Bigger Picture
Even if the decor and colours on the walls are not to your taste but the “bones” of the house are good don’t remove it from your shortlisted homes. It might be worth it to live with the ugliness, if the home otherwise meets your needs in terms of the things that are difficult to change, such as location and size. Don’t let cosmetic imperfections put you off.

Penny Wise Pound Foolish
If you’re on a budget, look for homes whose full potential has yet to be realized. Doing home upgrades yourself is often cheaper than paying the increased home value for an upgraded home. Minor upgrades like premium appliances, backsplashes and designer wall colours play on your emotions and elicit a much higher price tag. Sellers may pay $2,000 – $5,000 for upgrades that a Buyer may end up paying $40,000 for.

Not Choosing to Hire a Buyer’s Agent or Using the Listing Agent
Once you’re seriously in the market for a home; don’t walk into an open house without having a Realtor (or at least being prepared to throw out a name of someone you’re supposedly working with). Realtors are held to the ethical rule that they must act in the best interests of the party they represent. You can see how that might not work in your best interest if you start dealing with a Listing Realtor before contacting one of your own.

Not thinking Investment
It’s impossible to perfectly predict the future of your chosen neighbourhood, but paying attention to the information that is available to you now can help you avoid unpleasant surprises down the road.

Some questions you should ask about your prospective property include:
• Ask your Realtor to show comparative sale prices that are as recent as possible
• Have home values in the neighbourhood been declining?
• What are rental prospects in the neighbourhood?
• What kind of development plans are in the works for your neighbourhood in the future?
• Is your street likely to become a major street or a popular rush-hour shortcut?
• Will a highway be built in your backyard in five years?
• If there is a lot of undeveloped land? What is likely to get built there?

If you’re happy with the answers to the questions, then your house can be viewed as a long term investment.

Buying a first home can seem overwhelming but it need not be.

Anything you can do I can do better :) :(

Insecurity, jealousy, backstabbing are all the sins that man/woman are vulnerable to commit drawn by the need of significance. You may be a brown in white society, a shortie, trying to make a mark without equipped with real influential skills, but if you are comfortable in your skin, content in being yourself you look richer than others. But you cannot protect yourself from insecure people who accuse you of stealing their glory from them for no reason at all. Whether they have missed their bus or they have lost focus of life is a question, if I see a talent in them, I celebrate it with them. I dont need to put more gas in my emotional tank by taking theirs.

If a gift has been stirred up find a way to work together so you can have a win-win situation. We can all

have a party in the end. Many of us operate through life as a zero-sum game. If someone else loses, I win.

Better even that we both lose than that they win and I don’t.

No person has ever died from a lack of sex…in fact when a person has a higher purpose in their life, they live willingly celibate. Money, power, prestige are all expressions of apparent significance. To be in a loving relationship we gain in our significance to others and they to us. A more mature person comes to realize that our attempts to gain signific- ance from others is futile as we can only be as significant as we are to ourselves…the rest is illusion.

Women vs women at work

It is true, working for insecure women bosses is no less than hell. They can demean you in front of coworkers, make you feel worth less and use you as a step stool to promote their interests. However a secure confident women can be a pleasure, they can help you all the way and be a formidable force for your career growth. I have worked with both kinds and have a taste of both the experiences.

Insecure women are horrific to work with but secure women help other women.
You are competing with other women for a few jobs.  As women become more secure and stable things will change.People  blame the victims. Women bullies in the position of power get away while their victims get blamed.
They feel guilty, women are making less money than they deserve. When you are truly powerful you feel happy. Women are in workplace but they are not relived from their duties in the household. There is a sense of exhaustion. The sleep deprived friends are more women than men.
These and many more reasons make women less competitive in the work place, they receive less money, less bonuses than they deserve or contribute because they are considered secondary bread winners.  So corportions prefer to hire women than men as they get more value for a cheaper price. This was also proved by a poll conducted by CNN recently. Hence women are out-numbering men at workplace.
For many years, some of the smartest, hardest-working women have whispered a quiet complaint on the job: They find other women, in general, harder to work with than men.

A new study about women in the workplace,  started this notion that this is a common belief; women are more likely to bully other women on the job, and interfere with the prospects of other women being rewarded with higher pay, better positions, or even praise.

The problems that men have caused for women on the job are well-documented, everything from sexual harassment to sexism in promotions but women back stab, gossip and ridicule their women coworkers shamelessly. It is a battle of sexes where all is fair is this war.

“Why He Didn’t Call You Back?”

Renowned Dating Coach Rachel Greenwald Answers Your Questions About Her New Book

1. For this book, you conducted a groundbreaking 10-year research project with 1,000 single men to uncover the top ten reasons why they don’t call their dates back. What is the #1 reason?

The #1 most popular reason men don’t call back is “The Boss Lady.” This label applies when a man thinks a woman is terrific—smart, good-looking, and successful—but he decides he’d rather hire her than date her. Women often guess that men are intimidated by their great job or strong personality. But men sincerely said that’s not it. They get enough aggression at work all day—when they come home they want to be with someone softer, more nurturing. They do want someone intelligent with an interesting career, but they crave a warm demeanor.

2. Describe the “Exit Interview” technique you used to extract information from these 1,000 guys?

I used a tactic I learned at Harvard Business School called “Exit Interviews” to reveal candid answers from men who had disappeared into a black hole. I called the former dates of my clients, I approached single men at Starbucks, I talked to guys at speed dating events, and I even spent 6 hours once in the food court at Newark Airport (during my flight delay) asking random men about their dating disconnects. During those 1,000 interviews across ten years, I never accepted glib answers such as “There was just no chemistry.” I asked “Why was there no chemistry?” I poked and prodded until I got specific details about all the little things women said and did on their dates. It turns out there are clear, consistent patterns about what turned men on, and what turned them off.

3. Out of your findings, which reason surprised you the most?

One of the most surprising reasons men don’t call back is “The Never Ever Mistake.” This occurs when a woman makes an emphatic or absolute statement using words such as “I would never” or “I definitely will” or “I hate.” For example, one New York woman emphasized how much she loved living in New York by telling her date, “I’d never leave this city! My job, my family, my friends are all here!” Because he grew up on the west coast, he wasn’t sure he’d always want to stay in New York, especially after he had kids. He’d enjoyed their date together, but the next day he decided she was geographically inflexible and that she didn’t have long-term relationship potential. He took her “never ever” statement literally, even though one day she might have moved for compelling reasons, especially if they were married.

4. In your book you say women should never send a “thank you” email or text after a date. Why?

Men told me that while they appreciate the post-date “Thank You Email,” it ultimately causes them to lose interest in a woman because men like the chase. They told me that when they receive your email (or text) the morning after a date, they do NOT think, “Oh, what good manners she has!” Rather, they think it means you like them. Turns out it’s more deflating than endearing because he wanted to contact you first and do the pursuing (assuming he liked you too). You should thank him graciously at the end of the date, but don’t steal his thunder the next day. And if you don’t hear from him at all? He’s just not that into you, of course. He’s a big boy and knows how to contact you if he wants to see you again. Your email isn’t subtle when sent under the pretext of a “thank you.”

5. You say in your book that women should do “the fake-purse grab” when the dinner check arrives. Can you explain?

I conducted a national poll and asked men how they prefer women handle the awkward arrival of the dinner check on the first date. The good news is that chivalry is not dead! A surprising 84% of men said they expect to pay for the meal, but they want to know their gesture is appreciated. They don’t want to feel like the woman EXPECTS them to pay. For this reason, they prefer the “fake-purse grab” to the “blind eye.” I recommend that you reach for your purse and say sweetly, “May I contribute to this?” The vast majority of the time he will decline your offer, at which point you can thank him sincerely. If he allows you to split the bill, you probably won’t be hearing from him again (or if he does call back, it’s doubtful he’s interested in anything serious with you).

6. Why are there more failed first dates today than ever before?

This is a recent and scary phenomenon. With the explosion of online dating, single men and women have the illusion of infinite options. They believe a more perfect match is just a mouse-click away. Today people go on dates to “rule out” rather than “rule in” because they know they’ll be home in an hour, surfing the internet for someone “better.” Everyone is window shopping, but few are buying.

7. The case studies in your book offer hope and inspiration for the women looking for Mr. Right. What is the take-away for women as they read these true stories about your clients?

My research gives women new information which empowers them to retain the men they actually want to date. By tweaking small comments and gestures they often make unknowingly, they’ll have more men pursuing them and calling back. Ultimately the woman will have the choice to accept or decline the next date, rather than waiting by the phone and wondering what happened.

I truly believe it’s not that good guys aren’t out there, but rather that simple misperceptions—which can be easily fixed—are standing in Cupid’s way. Over 80% of my clients who have used this Exit Interview information (as shown in these case studies) have dramatically changed their dating results and found a wonderful guy within a few months.

8. The book is also a fascinating glimpse into the mind of the single man. What’s the #1 thing men DO like?

The #1 thing that indicated whether a woman had future-wife potential was actually rather…. um, bland! Men said they look for a woman who is a really “nice” person. Initially I assumed “nice” meant “boring,” but the anecdotes I heard turned out to be poignant. Guys remembered brief gestures or comments when a woman acted nice, kind, thoughtful, or considerate. Here’s one quote to illustrate:

“We met for coffee at Starbucks, and we were standing at the condiments bar when she accidentally spilled a little sugar onto the counter top. No big deal, right? Except she actually took a napkin and wiped up after herself! I asked her why [she did that], and she told me it just seemed polite so the next person wouldn’t have to look at someone else’s mess. If it was me, I’d just leave whatever I spilled and figure the staff would clean it up… It was just a small thing, but it impressed me how thoughtful she was.”
 

How Do I Trust Him?

How Do I Trust Him?
The following quote shows that an inseparable part of loving someone is to trust them.
“I don’t pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me;
Love is knowing all about someone,
and still wanting to be with them more than any other person,
Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself,
including the things you might be ashamed of,
Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone,
but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

Q . I do trust him when he says he won’t cheat on me, but there’s something inside of me saying that I need to continue to watch him. I will wear myself out if I try to keep watching his every move. How do I trust him that all it is is just talking?”

Ans. If I were you, I’d stay off his computer — that tends to put you in the role of a snooping parent. What I would do, is keep communication open. It sounds as though when you talk to him, he’s very honest about what he’s done and his intentions, whether he’s able to follow through or not. You could simply ask him from time to time how he’s doing with his resolve and is there anything the two of you need to talk about? And from your side, rather than make him wrong, you can just be clear about how it all makes you feel. Mostly, things tend to go wrong when we stop communicating, when we stop speaking our truth. And, of course, the bottom line is, suspicion can truly destroy a relationship so, I’d suggest talking and trusting.

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Work

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Work

10. “Our relationship is first… not third or fourth…”
9. “We’re able to compromise…”
8. “He acknowledges and validates me…”
7. “Humor… we know how to have fun…”
6. “We’re friends…”
5. “We accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses…”
4. “Everybody’s responsible and no one is to blame…”
3. “We have a healthy dependence/mutuality in our relationship…”
2. “We can disagree without attacking…”
1. “We’re able to really listen and communicate with each other…”

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

10. “We’ve just grown apart…”
9. “We’re just not in love anymore…”
8. “He’ll never change…”
7. “I don’t have any emotions/feelings left…”
6. “All we do is fight…”
5. “There’s just too much resentment built up…”
4. “We can’t work out problems with children…”
3. “There’s no intimacy or ‘fire’…”
2. “I just can’t trust him…”
1. “We just don’t communicate…”

Eight common myths about dating

Dating is never easy. You’re excited about the fun opportunity ahead but at the same time, nervous about messing it up. Unfortunately, there aren’t set rules for a successful date — even though your friends will imply there are.

Here are eight common myths about dating “rules” and why they are not true:

1. Because you are shy, guys need to ask you out or make the first move.

When you want something to eat, you go out and get it. Being shy doesn’t hold you back from eating and it shouldn’t hold you back from dating. Don’t confuse being shy with being scared of rejection — and you are not alone in this fear.

Dating is a risk. It could work out or it couldn’t. The only way to know is to give it a chance. Don’t be afraid to take action. If you don’t speak up, you won’t get a date. If you do speak up, you now have the chance of him or her saying yes.

2. If you pay for dinner, you should get sex.

Unless you are dating an escort, sex does not come with the meal. A date is an opportunity to get to know each other and see if there is chemistry. Paying for dinner doesn’t even guarantee you a second date.

3. Taking phone calls and answering text messages is OK on a date.

It is 2008 and we are all well connected to the world. We receive phone calls, text messages pictures, email and can surf the web all on our phones. It does not mean we are allowed to do it on a date. It is just plain rude.

You can give up all the technology for a few hours to enjoy a date and have a real conversation in person. Be respectful and present in your date; you at least owe your date that.

4. You should wait three days before you call for a second date.

Do you wait three days to tell an employer you are going to accept the job? No, because the job may not be available if you wait. It’s the same thing with dating.

If you want a second date, call and plan it out. You can even mention it at the end of the first date. Simply let him know you had a good time and that you’re free this weekend to hang out again. It’s a lot better than spending your weekend alone because you didn’t ask.

5. The top pays for dinner.

Seriously? I have heard this many times from clients and friends. I’m telling you it’s not true. Your sexual position has nothing to do with who pays. Dating manners say the person who planned the date is supposed to pay. I think it is always polite to offer to pay. It’s just good manners.

6. We’re not even locked into the typical dinner-and-movie date. Think unconventionally when setting up your date. Why not take a cooking class together? How about going to zoo or aquarium? Not only do unconventional dates create better experiences, but they help reduce the awkwardness a candlelight dinner can cause.

7. You shouldn’t have sex on the first date.

You are both adults and can choose what to do on your date. There is no proof that waiting to have sex or jumping right into bed with body paints creates successful couples. It’s up to the both of you and your comfort level.

I’ll just warn you: Sex on a first date does not guarantee you a second date and, as I said before, it doesn’t come with a free meal.

8. Because you are both guys, you shouldn’t open the door for him.

Chivalry is not dead. You still want to be polite and have manners. Saying “please” and “thank you,” opening doors and saying “bless you” when your date sneezes are just ways to show you’re a gentleman and respectful. Plus you will make Mom very proud of your behavior.

There isn’t a guaranteed solution to a successful date. A major part of dating is just plain chemistry. Stop trying to play by your friends’ “rules” and make your own as you go along. You know what is best for you.

I would love to hear your dating “rule” myths. Add your personal myths and why they are not true to the comments section. We can work together to make dating a lot easier for everyone.

Tips for finding Mr. Right

There is one thing that most women have in common and that is their passion for finding Mr. Right. We all have the image of the man of our dreams on who is and how he should be but how do we go about finding him? Well finally there is hope.
By following a few tips you will be well on your way to finding that perfect man.

• Meeting Mr. Right takes careful planning and preparation; it’s typically not always a spontaneous, out-of-the-blue experience. Know yourself and what you believe in and stand for, as well as what you’re looking for. Ensure that you’re emotionally available and ready for a possible relationship.
• Be friendly, open, receptive, and assertive when socializing. Your life partner could be anywhere, so don’t limit yourself exclusively to certain meeting places. Expand your horizons and be open to new possibilities.
• Avoid expecting every encounter to lead somewhere. Not every hot guy you meet is Mr. Right. Use your screening skills and assess true goodness-of-fit.
• Don’t let dating consume your life. Live your life in a balanced and fulfilling way. Be happily single.
• Defeat negative thinking that could undermine your confidence in social situations. Be affirming towards yourself and let each experience be a new learning opportunity to help you improve yourself and your approaches.

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