Peer Pressure

Presssure:

Defining Peer Pressure
decisions on your own is hard enough, but when other people get involved and try to pressure you one way or another it can be even harder. People who are your age, like your classmates, are called peers. When they try to influence how you act, to get you to do something, it’s called peer pressure. It’s something everyone has to deal with – even adults. Let’s talk about how to handle it.

Peers influence your life, even if you don’t realize it, just by spending time with you. You learn from them, and they learn from you. It’s only human nature to listen to and learn from other people in your age group.

Peers can have a positive influence on each other.
Examples of how peers positively influence each other:
Talking or teaching about a cool trick on effective blogging.
Teaching a cool trick say computer short cuts that make your daily work easier.
You might admire a colleagues good PR skills and try to be more like him.
Maybe you got others excited about your new favorite book, and now everyone’s reading it. These are examples of how peers positively influence each other every day.

Sometimes peers influence each other in negative ways.
For example, a few peers can back bite about another colleague so you can get him / her into trouble.
your work friend might try to convince you to be mean to another colleagues and do their best to bring her down, show her in bad light to the management. Never let her function normally by secluding him, passing mean remarks, cutting her off from group invites.

Why Do People give in to Peer Pressure?
Some kids give in to peer pressure because they want to be liked,
to fit in,
or because they worry that they would be ridiculed if they don’t go along with the group.
Others may go along because they are curious to try something new that others are doing. The idea that “everyone’s doing it” may influence some to leave their better judgment, or their common sense, behind.

How to Walk Away From Peer Pressure
It is tough to be the only one who says “no” to peer pressure, but you can do it. Paying attention to your own feelings and beliefs about what is right and wrong can help you know the right thing to do. Inner strength and self-confidence can help you stand firm, walk away, and resist doing something when you know better.

It can really help to have at least one other peer, who is willing to say “no,” too. This takes a lot of the power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist. It’s great to have friends with values similar to yours who will back you up when you don’t want to do something.

There is a popular adage “choose your friends wisely.” Peer pressure is a big reason why they say this. If you choose friends who doesnt use politics, back stab, has unhealthy habits, or lies, then you probably won’t do these things either, even if others do. Try to help a friend who’s having trouble resisting peer pressure. It can be powerful for one kid to join another by simply saying, “I’m with you – let’s go.”

Even if you’re faced with peer pressure while you’re alone, there are still things you can do. You can simply stay away from peers who pressure you to do stuff you know is wrong. You can tell them “no” and walk away. Better yet, find other colleagues to pal around with.

If you continue to face peer pressure and you’re finding it difficult to handle, talk to someone you trust. Don’t feel guilty if you’ve made a mistake or two. Talking to a mentor, or counselor can help you feel much better and prepare you for the next time you face peer pressure.

Learn to Deal With Pressure
Dealing with pressures and stress can be hard sometimes. The pressure to make friends, earn good PMM scores, deal with crammed schedules, establish and maintain relationships, and navigate an occasionally difficult home life can feel overwhelming at times. Dealing with all of this can mess with your self-esteem, outlook on life, mood, and health. The next thing you know, you’re feeling stressed, or worse.

What is Stress?
When you are stressed, your body reacts to enhance your senses and ability to meet a challenge like taking a test, building the courage to ask someone out on a date, scoring a goal, or swerving to avoid a car crash. Your body releases hormones called adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream, which increases your heart rate, elevates your blood pressure, boosts energy supplies by increasing glucose (blood sugar) in the bloodstream, and increases the availability of substances that repair tissues.1 All of these things happen to prepare you to handle anything that comes your way, whether it’s running away from a bad mouthing colleague or staying up late to finish a paper.
Mild stress may cause changes in our brains and bodies that are useful, but if stress is constant or prolonged, the changes that it produces can be harmful.
Some people think they can deal with stress by taking drugs. They think if they are unhappy, drugs will make them feel better. And some people say they think that taking drugs might help them to cope with stress in their lives. But drugs don’t fix the problems that are causing the stress in the first place, and they don’t stop the feelings themselves. Drug use can actually worsen the situation and lead to even more stress, anxiety, or even depression.
It is important to remember that everyone feels stressed sometimes and everyone goes through hard times. It might not seem like it now, but most things get better with time, especially if you confront the problems and work through them. Dealing with your problems directly might be difficult at first, but it will make you happier in the long run. For example, you may have to lessen your work load or talk with a mentor, or other professional about something that is bothering you. But if you find your feelings do not improve, you could also be suffering from depression, which can be caused by unbalanced chemicals in the brain – and is not your fault.

“Why He Didn’t Call You Back?”

Renowned Dating Coach Rachel Greenwald Answers Your Questions About Her New Book

1. For this book, you conducted a groundbreaking 10-year research project with 1,000 single men to uncover the top ten reasons why they don’t call their dates back. What is the #1 reason?

The #1 most popular reason men don’t call back is “The Boss Lady.” This label applies when a man thinks a woman is terrific—smart, good-looking, and successful—but he decides he’d rather hire her than date her. Women often guess that men are intimidated by their great job or strong personality. But men sincerely said that’s not it. They get enough aggression at work all day—when they come home they want to be with someone softer, more nurturing. They do want someone intelligent with an interesting career, but they crave a warm demeanor.

2. Describe the “Exit Interview” technique you used to extract information from these 1,000 guys?

I used a tactic I learned at Harvard Business School called “Exit Interviews” to reveal candid answers from men who had disappeared into a black hole. I called the former dates of my clients, I approached single men at Starbucks, I talked to guys at speed dating events, and I even spent 6 hours once in the food court at Newark Airport (during my flight delay) asking random men about their dating disconnects. During those 1,000 interviews across ten years, I never accepted glib answers such as “There was just no chemistry.” I asked “Why was there no chemistry?” I poked and prodded until I got specific details about all the little things women said and did on their dates. It turns out there are clear, consistent patterns about what turned men on, and what turned them off.

3. Out of your findings, which reason surprised you the most?

One of the most surprising reasons men don’t call back is “The Never Ever Mistake.” This occurs when a woman makes an emphatic or absolute statement using words such as “I would never” or “I definitely will” or “I hate.” For example, one New York woman emphasized how much she loved living in New York by telling her date, “I’d never leave this city! My job, my family, my friends are all here!” Because he grew up on the west coast, he wasn’t sure he’d always want to stay in New York, especially after he had kids. He’d enjoyed their date together, but the next day he decided she was geographically inflexible and that she didn’t have long-term relationship potential. He took her “never ever” statement literally, even though one day she might have moved for compelling reasons, especially if they were married.

4. In your book you say women should never send a “thank you” email or text after a date. Why?

Men told me that while they appreciate the post-date “Thank You Email,” it ultimately causes them to lose interest in a woman because men like the chase. They told me that when they receive your email (or text) the morning after a date, they do NOT think, “Oh, what good manners she has!” Rather, they think it means you like them. Turns out it’s more deflating than endearing because he wanted to contact you first and do the pursuing (assuming he liked you too). You should thank him graciously at the end of the date, but don’t steal his thunder the next day. And if you don’t hear from him at all? He’s just not that into you, of course. He’s a big boy and knows how to contact you if he wants to see you again. Your email isn’t subtle when sent under the pretext of a “thank you.”

5. You say in your book that women should do “the fake-purse grab” when the dinner check arrives. Can you explain?

I conducted a national poll and asked men how they prefer women handle the awkward arrival of the dinner check on the first date. The good news is that chivalry is not dead! A surprising 84% of men said they expect to pay for the meal, but they want to know their gesture is appreciated. They don’t want to feel like the woman EXPECTS them to pay. For this reason, they prefer the “fake-purse grab” to the “blind eye.” I recommend that you reach for your purse and say sweetly, “May I contribute to this?” The vast majority of the time he will decline your offer, at which point you can thank him sincerely. If he allows you to split the bill, you probably won’t be hearing from him again (or if he does call back, it’s doubtful he’s interested in anything serious with you).

6. Why are there more failed first dates today than ever before?

This is a recent and scary phenomenon. With the explosion of online dating, single men and women have the illusion of infinite options. They believe a more perfect match is just a mouse-click away. Today people go on dates to “rule out” rather than “rule in” because they know they’ll be home in an hour, surfing the internet for someone “better.” Everyone is window shopping, but few are buying.

7. The case studies in your book offer hope and inspiration for the women looking for Mr. Right. What is the take-away for women as they read these true stories about your clients?

My research gives women new information which empowers them to retain the men they actually want to date. By tweaking small comments and gestures they often make unknowingly, they’ll have more men pursuing them and calling back. Ultimately the woman will have the choice to accept or decline the next date, rather than waiting by the phone and wondering what happened.

I truly believe it’s not that good guys aren’t out there, but rather that simple misperceptions—which can be easily fixed—are standing in Cupid’s way. Over 80% of my clients who have used this Exit Interview information (as shown in these case studies) have dramatically changed their dating results and found a wonderful guy within a few months.

8. The book is also a fascinating glimpse into the mind of the single man. What’s the #1 thing men DO like?

The #1 thing that indicated whether a woman had future-wife potential was actually rather…. um, bland! Men said they look for a woman who is a really “nice” person. Initially I assumed “nice” meant “boring,” but the anecdotes I heard turned out to be poignant. Guys remembered brief gestures or comments when a woman acted nice, kind, thoughtful, or considerate. Here’s one quote to illustrate:

“We met for coffee at Starbucks, and we were standing at the condiments bar when she accidentally spilled a little sugar onto the counter top. No big deal, right? Except she actually took a napkin and wiped up after herself! I asked her why [she did that], and she told me it just seemed polite so the next person wouldn’t have to look at someone else’s mess. If it was me, I’d just leave whatever I spilled and figure the staff would clean it up… It was just a small thing, but it impressed me how thoughtful she was.”
 

7 Habits of Happy People

 

A happy person is the one whose life is dominated by good feelings. Life is like a balance sheet when days with good feelings out weigh the days with bad feelings you are a happy person. Happiness is often linked with an inner sense of well being

A state of well being that enables you to profit from highest thoughts, wisdom, intelligence, common sense, emotions, health and spiritual values of life.

Happiness is contagious, it is like a perfume which you cannot pour on others without getting some drops on yourself. Happiness is not usually a product of some thought / action but is a by-product.  For instance, when I completed my course in web development it created a sense of achievement, which led to a feeling of inner well –being, or happiness.  Also happy endings usually creates an overall happy experience. The Magic of happy endings is remarkable.

 
Self-actualisation and to use the resources (intellectual and emotional) we have, brings contentment that is price less. At the same time, it is well known that people with inordinately high expectations are usually unhappy, as they are discontentment.  In a survey it was found that people of Bangladesh were the happiest in the world even though they belong to poor country, as they are content.

Also use nature / joy of simple pleasures to bring bursts of happiness in your life. Nature is bountiful and giving hence a source of joy / happiness. Pursuit of happiness can lead to unhappiness. Happiness is associated with giving it is not in having, taking, self-gratification. Hence reach out, Smile, and Hug.

It is a well-known saying your attitude determines your altitude. A happy person is not usually a product of certain set of circumstances but a certain set of attitudes. Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile but sometimes it is your smile that becomes a source of joy. Reflect on the good. We should positively reflect on our successes. We see people surround themselves with pictures of their friends and family and certificates of accomplishment to create a perception of well being and success. Perception then becomes a reality. It is important to mindfully reflect on the good while striving diligently to correct the bad. 

The single most important thing that gives me the maximum happiness is when my time and thoughts are shared with my family and friends. That is the actual index of happiness – i.e. the number of strong personal relationships and frequency of interactions. 

To be a part of something you believe in for example I want to belong to a blogging community. It helps me add passion in my career and engage in something that I strongly believe in. This engagement brings happiness and contentment into our lives. 

An average person is usually astonished when they a physically handicap person show signs of emotional happiness. The answer rests in how they use the resources they do have. Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it. 

Thus if we populate the balance sheet of daily life with these 7 valuable assets we could be happy people.